To those who are sixty or above as well as the younger ones

Well, in all the stories I've read so far, the father tells his daughter how much he loves her, after or before giving her an almighty spanking.
That's fantasy.
Now I'd like to know if those who are sixty or above as well as the younger ones ever had the same experience.
Did your father ever tell you he loved you?
Did he ever tell you you had qualities, and didn't harp on your (supposed) failings?
Was it a way to help you get confident?

This question seems to be aimed at the ladies, but in their growing up years I doubt if my daughters ever went a full 24 hours without hearing that I loved them. I don't believe in that "strong, silent & remote" style of parenting (or husbanding).

Guy

As an over seventy year old - the answer to both your questions is "No".

He certainly didn't tell me that he loved me when he spanked me, either before or after. he was very much more straightforward about it. You did X or did not do Y and so you will be spanked. Once in a while he would tell me that he loved me but mostly he would say how stupid I am and how I don't know anything. most of the time he simply had some vague idea that there was a short person in the house but that was common when I was growing up (I turned 50 this past summer). I have had no contact with him in almost 20 years. I have had no contact with my half brother and half sister in even longer but thanks to some savvy internet searching I know that they also are single and in their late 30s.

So yes having an authority figure combine spanking with expressions of love are pure fantasy. But I would argue that they are fantasies that speak to a couple very basic childhood needs: a need for boundaries and a need to be loved unconditionally.

It took reading "The Dance of Intimacy" when I was almost 30 to understand why I was such a loser as a young adult.

No, my father didn't tell me he loved me, but did inform me that he was doing this (spanking me) because I hadn't behaved right for my mother and he was disappointed in that - not that he was disappointed in me. My Mother was a "wait until your father gets home" kind of parent and poor Dad would sigh because he had to hear about everything that bothered him as soon as he got home. After there was never corner time and he tried to act like nothing was wrong. I was angrier with my Mother than I was with him. His spankings were very mild and easily forgotten. I really loved my Father and respected my Mother.

My father told me he loved me only when drunk, and then he would be slobbery and whiney about it. I hated it. He didn't spank me often, but when he did, it was always in anger but only a few swats and never bare. My mother, on the other hand, tried to make up for him. She did use a switch on my legs occasionally, but always told me how wonderful and perfect I was. Result - one mixed up and very shy little girl. Still am, I suppose.

I was regularly told that I was loved, and clever, and strong etc etc. I was only spanked once, by my mother, when I was aged about seven. I deserved it. She came from a large family where spanking was the norm. My father was the only child of a widower, very much against cp, very much in favour of reasoned discussion and debate. He also taught me to cook.

They were both graduates, both teachers, both liberal.

Despite this I was into female bottoms and spanking them from an extremely early age (well under 10). I think nature won out over nurture there.

Geoffrey Stirling

I can't remember any time my father told me that he loved me. He showed it at times, but like FiBlue my father liked to tip the bottle. I hated that, too. I could count on one hand the times I was spanked by my father for anything. My mother on the other hand, and both feet, was a different story.

In fantasy and fiction a father spanking a daughter is fine, but in RL once a young girl moves into the bodily function of (her time of the month) and, it's getting young and younger, it becomes inappropriate (in my eyes anyway when it's on the bare).

This be the verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin

Got to go with Lincoln, I'm 64, no they showed no affection, never said they loved, never spanked. Mind you they had WW2 to contend with and the English 'stiff upper lip' was never more prevalent., Taught me not to show affection, 'that way you don't get hurt' so relationships always hard work. Great Larkin poem from ordalie.