A quote from a pulp writer

Underling,
Are you talking about Flash Gordon or the soft core porn parody Flesh Gordon?

I really should get around to reading some E R Burroughs.

Definitely Flash Gordon. I'm aware of the parody, but I've never had the pleasure.

I find Burroughs requires a fair bit of tolerance, Rachel. He really wasn't that talented a writer.

I read Burroughs as a teenager and was enthralled by John Carter of Mars. I recently picked that up on my Kindle and tried to read it again. Guess what? I couldn't do it. The writing was just too juvenile. But I have heard that there are actually spanking scenes in some of the later volumes in this series.

Yes, there were other spanking references in Howard's work - I just didn't want someone going out to buy his complete works and then moaning about the lack of spanking.

Most of the references in his work are just that - references. For example, at the beginning of "Red Nails" Conan tells Valeria to stop waving her sword around or he'll take it from her and spank her with it. Valeria is all "I'd like to see you try" and Conan is "um, maybe later" because he knows how good she is with a sword. Then when they get in trouble he sits her on his lap and starts feeling her up as he tries to work out how they can escape the dragon... There's just something about having a bouncy girl on his lap that help Conan think.

And I will try to track down "Miss High-Hat" now.

Goodgulf

I will keep that in mind, Seegee and Rollin.

It'd help me think to, except my thinking would pretty much be focused on one thing, or maybe two.

Well he did think about how he could make a long, hard, straight spear with some guck oozing from the end of it...

Goodgulf

I heard a similar thing about John Carter from George Martin. One of his long time friends; TV writer Melinda Snodgrass (seriously it is her real name) was a huge fan of John Carter, her favourite book as a kid. She called George out to Hollywood to help her pitch a big screen treatment of the work. He thought to himself I better read this thing and read it on the plane on the way there. He recalled that he read it and thought 'This is her favourite book?' I had much the same reaction when I read it as an adult. I had a friend in high school who loved them. Tarzan was the same. To be totally honest if Burroughs submitted Tarzan today to a publisher they'd reject it without a second thought.