Before and After but surely not During.

I'm a male/sub spanko and I hate being spanked!
Why?...because it hurts.
I've been to a few professional ladies and came very close to using my safe word.
Thankfully they lived up to their professional status and stopped just in time.
I find it hard to believe that anybody can enjoy being hurt...because...well it's so f*****g sore!
I have had an erection during a session, that is before and after, but never during the actual punishment.
Somebody said, in response to an earlier post, that there are many nerve endings connecting the buttocks to the genitalia.
Unfortunately, for me, those nerve endings scream out as soon as they are violently stimulated and it's only later on that the sexual connection manifests itself.
Many, if not all Dom's, allow no sexual relief whatsoever.
Well there's no need because, I can assure you, when she's blistering my arse with a hairbrush, the last thing on my mind is sexual satisfaction.
It's not until I get home and re-live the experience that my JT pops up and demands attention.
And as for being caned...my God, how much must that hurt?
I'm 51 years old and have been into spanking since as far back as I can remember, but the actual pain involved still shocks and confuses me.
My brain constantly refuses to play along!
So, and I can't think of a better place to ask this question, do you actually enjoy being hurt?

I personally don't. I'm like you in that it's the anticipation and the reliving that stimulates me. However some people do enjoy the actual pain. The poet Algernon Swinburne, who enjoyed flagellation and actually wrote about it, did. It's been postulated that he actually suffered from a medical condition in that pain did stimulate him. I had a discussion with one professional Domme, who said she had a client who actually wanted her to break the skin.

It is not the actual spanking that is the thrill, although the beginning of a good spanking can be a major part of the enjoyment, the middle and the ending may not be liked so much. The build up to the spanking and the part just before bending over the knee is often very good, along with whatever comfort is offered afterward, and that depends on the spanker's mood at the time. The pain part is not so good at least for me, but it is something I endure for the before and after parts. Yes it does hurt, but I do not think I would be a spanko if all I had in the spankings was the pain.

CS

Tysout,

It sounds to me like you simply enjoy being dominated by a woman. It's not the spanking that you enjoy most, it's the giving over the power to another person, preferably a female. Some people, just like you, simply go along with the pain that comes with a good caning or hairbrushing just to feel that loss of power for the time being. I've read that quite a few of these people (men mostly) are high ranking officials such as CEO's. Having the power all the time is a relief for them.

The excitement knowing that a person will force themselves to be at a loss, a feeling of being emasculated by a female even prior to the spanking causes an erection.

The thing is, how do you feel after the punishment? Relieved? Angry? Embarrassed? Nervous? I've read articles by professionals in the field that there are men and women who feel these emotions after being put through the test.

At least you're brave enough to come forward and make yourself enjoy whatever that part of the scene you do enjoy.

I think you're right BD, in fact, I think you're spot on.
At the moment I have a male boss and I'll do whatever I have to but no more.
If I had a female boss, I'm telling you now, she could get me to do almost anything.
I would still, however, imagine her threatening and eventually spanking me and that would probably be my downfall.
How do I feel after punishment?... embarrassed and ashamed. However, that's got a lot to do with the fact that I feel as if I've cheated on my wife.
Of course there is no sex involved, but I've taken 100-150 pounds out of the family budget to pay for it and in that way, have let my wife and family down.
Unfortunately my wife is not into the scene at all, which is a crying shame, because if she was then she would have all and any type of sexual pleasure she wanted.
The problem is that I love her so much that I couldn't live without her and therefore simply can't take the chance of losing her.
WAAAAIIIT A MIINNNUTE...have I just fallen foul to the first agony Aunt/Uncle reply to a 'problem'?
Bendover, you devil...have you just conned me???
I can't believe I fell for that!
Bugger!!!

I dont enjoy being hurt....at all. When i see clips of girls being canned or belted black and blue it just makes me cringe..in fact i turn them off quick. For me, a spanking definitely isn't about the pain. It's about being controlled, vulnerable, punished and cared for. The turn on comes from the ritual of being otk and bared...and embarrassment of being treated like a naughty little girl. Also, knowing that the man who is spanking me cares enough to take me in hand. I only need a pleasantly sore, pink bottom to achieve the 'high' a spanking gives me. Pain is way down on the list of reasons i like to be spanked.

Whatever the reason for the spanking, I always have had THAT reaction before, during, and after. I often have it from just talking with the right person about spankings. The reason is the attention, the love and caring, and the connection between myself and my spanker. I would not let just anyone spank me and would never consider a professional. I have to have that personal relationship, built upon respect and rapport, first. I don't like the pain as it is happening, but I do like sitting on a sore bottom for a day or two as a reminder.

There is another well known psychological phenomenon going on here. The memory of painful experiences fades faster than the memory of pleasurable experiences. That is why you see the familiar pattern of couples breaking up and then reuniting multiple times before they finally end it forever. During the separations they remember the good parts of the relationship and the bad parts fade so they give it another try.

The spankings themselves are a mixture of pain and pleasure for the spankee so he/she later remembers the good parts and forgets how much it hurt. Fortunately those of us who are tops don't have that problem, it's fun during, before and after.

Personally, I think it's a case of less can be more. I like the feel of a light spanking. It feels good while it's happening. It doesn't take an exceptionally hard spanking, though, to for me to go from pleasure to pain. I may enjoy the anticipation before, or the feeling afterward, but it hurts during.

Once the endorphins kick in, after 15-20 whacks (per buttcheek), I want harder smacks and/or a progression to a heavier/more severe implement--swats that seemed barely tolerable around the #!2 mark don't have the same effect around the #24 one, they tend to feel somewhat less hurtful.

Yes, I want to squirm and squeal, and I hope that my darling vanilla wife at least enjoys that sense of accomplishment, having my defenseless derriere at her mercy--even though I'm greatly superior to her physically--and stinging me good while I'm 'helpless' to resist.

Of course, AFAIC mild embarrassment and voluntary submission are important aspects of the spanking experience as well... --C.K.