Does spanking make for a firmer bottom?

Not so sure about this. Just considering that every severe spanking leaves marks which you can still see years later on MRI I have some doubts about being healthy. Maybe it's not unhealthy, but healthy?

They used to say an apple a day keeps the doctor away (as long as you peel it first) now it's try a good spanking for that slim and youthful look! I think it's best to take these things with a pinch of (low sodium) salt! The sad fact is as you get older you succumb to the universal laws of gravity.

I don't know, but it's certainly worth a try. Let's start with an instructional video (I'll star of course, and Jools will surely help out), perhaps packaged with a few volumes from the LSF library to get the customers in the mood, and we'll also make a half hour infomercial that will air right after the Super Bowl advertising the LSF Sure-Fire Buns of Steel gluteal toning method and wait for barrage of orders.

I can see it now:

"For $19.99 you get the video, five volumes of LSF stories and a genuine Eroto-Blaster from the Acme Paddle Co.(Let's spice it up a bit). But wait. That's not all. If you call now, one of our skilled spanko-therapists will demonstrate the LSF method in person, at your home, school, or place of business. Operators are standing by."

Then we have some fast talking lawyer blat out all the disclaimers which we need because we have no idea if this will actually WORK, but who cares? It's like found money, baby.

(I'll need some volunteers to be the spanko-therapists. ...Anybody?)

Definitely. Regular spanking makes a lady's bottom firm and celliulite free

Watch out fellas, because this must apply to our bottoms too!

At the very least, it might prove embarrassing if they show up on an MRI "years later", wouldn't you think?

Logic would dictate that the "passive exercize" of being spanked might firm up the bottom a bit as it also might redistribute some body fat (in the form of cellulite) not necessarily for the better, as far as appearance is concerned. Severe spankings/paddlings, etc. might also contribute to the formation of blood clots in those so inclined, which could definitely be unhealthy.

All in all, even though the thought is attractive, I think this falls under the category of "old wive's tale" (pun intended).

Are you kidding me? The only way to firm a flabby tush is to exercise. Cycling is particularly effective because it targets the thighs and gluts. There are other machines at the gym i.e stairmaster. the nordic track, do fine work.
Some bums are naturally cute for one reason- genes inherited from mom and dad; another reason is a tushie tuck from one's favorite surgeon.

Spanking is a kind of exercise, I'm sure it burns off calories, but IC is correct, genuine exercise if the only way to firm up and tone those flabby muscles.

Wouldn't it at least tone up the spanker's arm muscles? ("I fights to the finish, 'cos I eats me spinach, I'm Popeye the sailor man... boop boop!")

That bit about MRI can't be true, can it?