Spanking codpeice found

Found in the chatroom:: 1 codpeice, size xxl, name Rick Marlow written in ballpoint on it.
I have handed it to lost property. Where you can claim it if it is yours.

Are you sure it was marked XXL?

Of COURSE it was. I marked it as such myself.

Are you sure it was a codpiece and not just a cod?

Oh no! We assumed it was a cod as there was a very fishy smell in the lost property box - so I threw it in the bin!

But don't worry Rick Marlow, for I shall get my granny to knit you a new codpiece

Did anyone get spanked with it first? Knowing you, you'd hate to waste a fish.

You are probably referring to a traditional, Norwegian delicacy known as Slappfisk (Slap fish).

Ingredients:

1. As many fish as possible (preferably cod, haddock, trout, salmon, red snapper)
2. A barrel of lye
3. A hole in the ground
4. A female behind (preferable bare)
5. One long, cold, dark winter.

Directions

1. Spank the female behind with the fish till tender (the fish, that is)
2. Soak the fish in the barrel of lye for a month
3. Tip the barrel of lye (with the fish) into the hole in the ground
4. Cover with soil
5. Leave alone for a long, cold, dark winter (two winters for more flavor)
6. When the soil thaws, dig up the fish
7. Serve with beer and (lots of) aquavit
8. (Important!) Eat immediately!!
9. If still alive, spank the female behind again.

I've shortened Alef's recipe thusly, as everything else seems superfluous:

Ollie, you are so perceptive and ask such good questions !

I checked the label again, and it looks as if the original size tag was 's' and he has expertly overwritten it with the 'XXL'

What a bounder !

Or possibly a flounder ....?