Fifty Shades of Grey
The missus bought a Paperback
down Dymocks Saturday,
I had a look inside 'er bag
T'was Fifty Shades of Grey.
Well I just left her to it,
At ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
In her left hand she held a rope
And in her right a whip
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek.
But Doris hasn't weathered well,
She's eighty four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things went from bad to worse
When she toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I 'ad to dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Doris,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd muttered.
She stood there nude, just naked like
Bent forward, just a bit.
I thought what the hell,
Stepped forward,
and stood on her left tit!
Doris screamed, her teeth shot out,
My god what had I done?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
Step on the other one!
Well readers, I can't tell no more
'bout what occurred that day.
Suffice to say me jet black 'air,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.
Author Unknown
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