Wanted Poster

Let me show you how it should be done:

Is that the LSF complaints department....yes, I do recognise your voice young lady!! You know jolly well of whom I wish to complain...Yes, that is quite right, it is a VERY serious complaint and I wish to speak to someone in authority, immediately!!

As I said, firmness, that is the key when it comes to dealing with Her Pinkness!! As a penance I shall expect her to complete twice as many validations today... and make my tea!! Make sure it's Twinings though! None of that cheap stuff you buy in Asda when it's out of date!!

blimp

After long confabulation amongst the library administration with regard to your spurious complaint, it has been decided that the fault lays 100% at your, rather over-sized, feet.

As you were warned at the outset of this, there are penalties and administration charges for complaints that are not upheld and therefore your penalties are as follows...

1) Within 7 days you must send PinkAngel a box of McCoys crisps and a large bottle of Glenfiddich.
2) Write a full letter of apology to the above angel.
3) You must report to Miss Thrashbottom's office at 9 am Monday morning and you may wish to take a cushion for afterwards!!
4) You are disallowed from making further complains about Miss PinkAngel for 6 months from the date of this hearing...

Kind Regards... D'Admin...