complaining to the council

LOL you have to love the English language!!

I do!

Yes indeed. Most of these are familiar and I believe true. There was a similar collection of sick notes sent by parents to school, one of which claimed the boy "has diarrhoea through a hole in his boot". When I tuahgt in an African country long ago I kept a collection of miss-statements, of which I now remember only "I spent many years writing in a pencil", "If someone blows my nose with his fist..." and "a portrait of our beloved President hanged on a nail".

It was the same for me, Simon.

One day I went into a classroom the native French teacher had just left without cleaning the blackboard and I read: "Quand j'ai reçu la lettre de mon oncle je me suis soulagé." I just couldn't stop giggling.

He should have written "j'ai été soulagé" (I was relieved). Se soulager has only one meaning: to go to the toilet.

In fact, it's the same in English: to be relieved or to relieve oneself.

Well it's a relief to know that. I'll be careful in French from now on.

But to be relieved has two meanings. The Major was relieved that his force had been relieved (his worries were calmed when more soldiers arrived to take over - or to break the siege, so there's yet another meaning)!

The Major, relieved that his force had been relieved, relieved himself.

Oh yes! But I didn't think of it since in this military sense the French verb is "relever".
Nice example!

There's a comment from Flashman and the Redskins where the Apache give Flashman a native name, which translates into English and 'breaker of wind'. Flashman later found it embarrassing, but his friend Geronimo thought it was very funny and continued to use it at every opportunity.