Spanking Machine

blimp

Uh hmmmm!! I am watching you mister and you will NOT like the consequences!! Consider yourself WARNED!!

i don't think we have much to worry about. if you stop to think about it, the technology of sexual machinery hasn't progressed much past the turn-of-the-century invention of the vibrator.

For some things, people seem to prefer the personal touch.


(FWIW: A quick check of Amazon.com shows that they will sell you a vibrator (several types actually), many styles of spanking paddles, or even an inflatable girlfriend, but no spanking machinery.)

If that isn't the saddest thing a man can buy I don't know what is!!

Moves away from Arthur after Pinks last comment.

I have GOT to meet pinkangel. I think I am the only male member of this board who has voluntarily chosen not one, but TWO hot pink laptop computers (a color really manufactured for Japanese teenaged girls!). Anyway, I LOVE pink! Is the pink laptop just a buried desire to have a pink bum over my lap? Only Freud can tell!! (Oh, and I love rose... pinkangel in a glass???) But a name like pinkangel, and so many comments from knowing board members... (and so revealing of board members' nature... for example, it seems that blimp suffers from pinkopresbyopia, which causes pink objects to appear larger than they really are...)

... and in some cases some NOT-so-knowing members.

Please check for yourself, Catharsis. The photo was taken by the CCTV cameras I installed outside Blimp Towers to prevent unwelcome callers getting access to my crisp supply and extensive cellars of fine wine!! She was just looking through the keyhole as the cameras catch her! You can see that I do not exaggerate!!



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/flopsybunny/PinkAngelsBigBum.jpg

Whatever I am suffering from it is not pinkopresbyopia!! Mind you I could be suffering from pinkophobia!! I wonder if it is curable?

Wow, blimp... I see what you mean. When I viewed that photo, I first thought that I stumbled upon the contest to break the Guinness world record for the biggest bubble blown with bubblegum. Whew!

(can pinkopresbyopia be communicated by e-mail?)

Well Arthur, if you're formally giving me your word of honor (honour) as an English gentleman of the Old School, I obviously can't risk offending you by questioning it any further... --C.K.

Very hi tech machine that robospanker. I designed my own self spanker for a fraction of the cost some years ago which I have used to great satisfaction from time to time.

I went down to the local DIY store and purchased the a gate closure spring mechanism. So that is like a door closing thing only heavy duty to have a gate swing closed again when you push it open.

OK so now you attach this to a piece of 2x4 or a block of wood with enough length to place it in a vice.

Now I use a Black and Decker work bench which folds away and is innocently stored in the garage. I attach a vice to the workbench (highly recommend a "Record" vice made in Sheffield, England).

Then I put the block of wood with the spring mechanism in the vice.

I then attach a hairbrush or bath brush to the hinge part of the gate closing spring using heavy duty tape.

Line everything up so that when you pull back the brush and release it with one hand it hits you precisely where you want it.

Accuracy has no equal.

Funnily enough it does not work very well when you attach a cane. For that you need a human being.