Llama jokes

Yes, jools, FAR superior to lame llama jokes!

What comes from the Himalayas, has long beige fur and scales, and curls into a ball at the first sign of trouble?



A Lllama-dillo!

(directs angry mob toward my wife who is the one who invented this joke!!)

On a more serious note, a llama makes a wonderful pet - especially if you enjoy being kicked, neck-wrestled and spat upon.

I think I'll stick to imams and priests, then.

Lame llama jokes are ok?

Who knew?

Q: Why did the llama cross the road?

A: Because it was the chicken's day off.

The social order of Llamas

A CHRISTIAN: You have two llamas. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A COMMUNIST: You have two llamas. The government seizes both and provides you with a fleece.

A FASCIST: You have two llamas. The government seizes both and sells you the fleece. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two llamas. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two llamas. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your llamas, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy an llama and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two llamas. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one llama, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two llamas. You sell one, buy a stud, and build a herd of llamas.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two llamas. The government takes them both, shoots one, shears the other, pays you for the fleece, then composts the fleece.

AN AMERICAN FARM: You have two llamas. You sell one, and force the other to produce the fleece of four llamas. You are surprised when the llama drops dead.

A FRENCH FARM: You have two llamas. You go on strike because you want three llamas.

A JAPANESE FARM: You have two llamas. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary llama and produce twenty times the fleece.

A GERMAN FARM: You have two llamas. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and shear themselves.

AN ITALIAN FARM: You have two llamas but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

AN INDIAN FARM: You have two llamas. You worship them.

A RUSSIAN FARM: You have two llamas. You count them and learn you have five llamas. You count them again and learn you have 42 llamas. You count them again and learn you have 12 llamas. You stop counting llamas and open another bottle of vodka.

The llama farmer said to his wife: "We are selling and shipping one of them to Pakistan."

"Islamabad?"

"No - it is perfectly OK. Its just that we need the money."

Democracy, American style: You have two llamas, your neighbour has one and a fourth llama wanders down the road between your two properties. You put a motion to allow you to seize the loose llama, your neighbour puts a counter-motion, one motion is narrowly passed after months of debate and is promptly vetoed, you reach a compromise which is ruled unconstitutional, you shout insults at one another and then notice the llama has moved on.