Llama jokes

I was told by an indignant bank teller today that there are no llama jokes in America, which means that children like those related to the aforesaid bank teller are deprived of humorous quips and jests about their favorite animal.

I came up with a couple, on the spot, but they are very lame.

Are there any llama jokes known to you good people? If not, could you perhaps invent one or two?

Do not let the children of bank tellers continue with a dearth of llama jokes - let us make this a triumphant vindication for all the other stuff what we write, read and comment on around here! We can do it!

I don't know anything about llama jokes, but I can recommend "A Business Investment" by Flopsybunny, here in the library. It's hilarious.

Llamas are thoughtful and gentle creatures whose self esteem may be seriously impaired if they think you are laughing at them. I don't know any bank teller jokes.

A while ago I regularly visited a house in the French countryside, and our neighbour was a farmer who kept bison, small goats and a small herd of our favourite camelid. One of our number was talking to him one day and the conversation went thus:

Why do you keep the bison?
For meat
And the goats?
for meat as well
And the llamas?
Ahhh. Llamas are for pleasure

What better feed line could there be? So I wrote a humorous song in praise of our neighbour's sentiment to the tune of the folk song Click go the shears.

Sadly, as it contains no reference to spanking it may not be reproduced in these pages, but I'll send a copy of the words to anyone who wants to see them. The only recording in existence has strangely disappeared.

I thought it was to catch the water that comes out of the tap - ouch!

What do you call one serving cut meats in a supermarket?

The Deli Llama.

(exits stage left rapidly, pursued by angry mob)

Who is the llama spiritual leader?

The Dalai Llama

(also exits as same angry mob pursuing guyde suddenly changes focus)

When do fire trucks carry one on their roofs?

When they are using an alarm-a-llama.

(Ducks flying rotten fruit and veg)

A llama spanking joke!! Lucky Llama ( a tale told by a 58 year old man to his mates in the pub)

I took a day off work and decided to go out golfing. On the second hole I noticed a Llama standing next to the green. I thought nothing of it and was about to shoot when I heard the llama grunt, "9 Iron."

I looked around and didn't see anyone and the llama grunted again "9 Iron."

I looked at the llama and decided to prove him wrong. I, put my other club away, and grabbed a 9 iron. Boom! I hit it 10 inches from the hole. I was shocked. I said to the llama, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky llama, eh?"

The llama reply's "Lucky llama."

I decided to take the llama with me to the next hole. "What do you think llama?" I asked.

"3 wood."

I took out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. I was incredibly befuddled and didn't know what to say. By the end of the day, I had played the best game of golf in my life and asks the llama, "OK where to next?"

The llama grunted a reply, "Las Vegas."

So, we go to Las Vegas and I say, "OK llama, now what?"

The llama grunted, "Roulette."

Upon approaching the roulette table, I asked it, " What do you think I should bet?"

The llama grunted, "$3000, black 6."

Now, this is a thirty-six to one shot to win, but after the golf game, I figured what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. I took my winnings and bought the best room in the hotel. Once in the hotel room, I said "Llama, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful. Just name it and it is yours."

The llama grunted, "Take me over your knee and thoroughly spank my bottom."

Shocked at first, and wondering how I could possibly arrange a Llama across my lap and spank it's bottom, I decided to oblige, since I felt very indebted to the llama for all my winnings. Once over my knee and the spanking had commenced the llama transformed into a beautiful and very naked 15 year old girl.

"...And that Your Honour," I explained, "is how the naked 15 year old ended up in my room!"

Now that is a good llama joke. So appropriate for this forum too.

Here here! Excellent story, Jools!