About a week ago I submitted my second piece of spanking-related fiction to this site. Flopsybunny replied that, after she had discussed my submission with the other administrators, they had decided that my piece was not appropriate for publication here as a *story* - for although it was a piece of fiction, it was not at all like the other stories which have been posted here. Floppsybunny suggested that I post this rather unusual work of spanking-related fiction here on the discussion board instead. So here it is. Remember - I have already had one piece of spanking-related fiction published here - "My Very Best Wet Dream Ever". This second piece of spanking-related fiction of mine definitely has a connection with that first piece, which you can find among the stories on this site. I suggest that you read my first story first - for you will be able to appreciate the humor in this second piece better if you do.
So without further ado:
"MY VERY BEST MAINSTREAM SPANKING MOVIE EVER"
A couple of months ago I was following a thread on the excellent discussion site for spankos - The World Spanking Forum. The subject of the thread was – "Great spanking scenes in *mainstream* movies". A couple of movies which were discussed there were "McClintock!" and "Secretary". And the question came up – "Which mainstream movie had the very best spanking scene ever made?"
That got me thinking. Could I come up with a screenplay for a mainstream spanking movie which would be still better than any mainstream movie ever made before which contained a good spanking scene?
Well, it just so happened that I could. For - I happened to be privy to a certain valuable piece of "insider information". Surely you fans of the Kilahara Spanking Library recall that titillating incident which occurred in the first story I ever posted here – "My Very Best Wet Dream Ever"? Well, the culprit (Surely you recall who she was – the lady with those *delightful* buns?) whom I had to deal with in that story, had apparently been in some major distress (so I must have been real good at the art of caning!). For – while under that duress, she accidentally blurted out an awful secret about herself which she had never previously shared with anyone. And this awful secret, concerning one of our favorite Hollywood celebrities, enabled me to write a really good screenplay for a really whacko, screwball kind of spanking-related movie.
Here is the script! As the British comedian John Cleese was wont to say – "And now for something a little bit different!"
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TITLE – "Castro´s Evil Henchwoman Gets Her Just Desserts"
Cast: Eva Mendes – as herself
Daniel Craig – as James Bond (Hey, what did ya expect?)
Numerous extras (Who do *not* get to join in the fun.) For - this movie
Is a *mainstream* spanking-related movie. So - no
"spanking-gang-bangs" permitted! PLEASE!)
Well, the plot goes like this:
Eva Mendes, that famous Hollywood celebrity - is *not* really a bona fide Hollywood diva. She is something which is almost - but not quite - equally bad. The truth is that she is a "deep agent" working for that nefarious Communist dictator, Fidel Castro!
For you see, folks - that story about how Ms. Mendes´ parents left Cuba seeking freedom and taking little Eva with them, is not completely true. It is true that Eva´s family left Cuba when she was just a tiny tot. But their motives were oh-so-sinister! They were working for Castro the whole time! For Castro was a cunning sonnuvabitch. He understood oh-so-well the value of good propaganda. And what could be a better way to smuggle his insidious ideological poison into the American culture than to plant a "deep agent" in the heart of Hollywood - which was the capitol of the American film industry? And which was therefore America´s most important influencer of public opinion?
But - if you want to plant a really good "deep agent" in enemy territory - then you must get down to work really early. So Eva had already been assigned the job to serve Castro in Hollywood before her parents left Cuba. And Eva has been in training ever since.
And Eva *is* really good at her job – isn´t she? For – no one has got wise to her yet! Isn´t that right? And not only that – her Castroist propaganda is so insidious and subtle that no one in America is even aware of the fact that she is injecting that lethal poison right into the veins of the American culture! *You*, dear reader - you see no signs whatsoever that Ms. Mendes is injecting any ideological poison into the American culture right now, do you? Well – dummy! That just goes to prove exactly how insidious that poison is – and how good Eva is at her deception!
This looks really bad! For if no one stops that sinister Communist femme fatale before it is too late – she will fool America into going Communist – and into serving that vicious thug, Castro. Without those sheep which constitute the American public even being aware of what being done to them!
Can´t *anyone* save us? Well - *of course* someone will come to our rescue at the very last moment! This is Hollywood, after all! Dummy!
What happens is this. My crazy movie comes into existence because Eva Mendes is shooting a film (that is not so unusual, is it? She is in front of the cameras, working hard). The film is being shot in one of those famous film lots in downtown Hollywood. Now it just so happens that at the very same time that Eva is filming her movie in one lot – Daniel Craig happens to be shooting the next James Bond flick in the lot next door! Serendipity, you know. For this is Hollywood!
Now Daniel Craig (Or is he James Bond? No one can tell – for Daniel Craig *is* James Bond! Isn´t that right?) - since he is that lady-spy-killer par excellence – can smell a Commie from a mile away. So when the wind shifts and blows the perfumed scent of Eva Mendes in his direction from the lot next door – he immediately exclaims – "Aha! I smell a rat! A goddam, friggin´ *Commie* rat! Sorry boys! You camera guys and sound guys and extras and so forth – you are going to have to take a *long* coffee break. For - I have urgent work to attend to!"
So the filming of the next James Bond flick is interrupted while James Bond, a.k.a. Daniel Craig, does some *real* work for a change! Daniel Craig (or is he really James Bond – who knows?) rushes over to the lot where that rotten closet Commie, Eva Mendes, is filming. He bursts onto the set – like a regular, friggin´ movie-gate-crasher. And he sure as hell has not forgotten that 007 is equipped with an official *License to Spank*! So he grabs Eva by the arm, he defeats her lame attempts to fight back with her pathetic martial arts (for she is *so* out of practice and gone-soft), he shoves Eva´s director out of his comfortable seat, he sits down in it and he pulls Eva over his knee. And then Daniel Craig (or is he 007?) yanks up the back of Eva´s skirt, peels down her expensive designer panties and proceeds to spank the living daylights out of that lousy, sneaky infiltrator!
So - Brother Fidel´s diabolical scheme is foiled in the end (Eva´s end) after all! Thanks to James Bond (or is he Daniel Craig? No one can tell – for James Bond *is* Daniel Craig). And – get this – since Eva is in the middle of the filming of her next movie when all this happens - *all* of the "action" is captured on film! In high resolution! From all possible angles! With close-ups! With perfect lighting and sound! In 3-D no less!
And – of course the producers of Eva´s movie were not born yesterday. They sure as hell are smart enough to realize what a fabulous goldmine has dropped into their laps like manna from heaven. Suddenly, they are sitting on premium-quality footage of the one and only*Eva Mendes* being given a bare-bottom spanking by Daniel Craig, a.k.a. James Bond! This is the windfall of the century! So the producers do exactly the same thing which the producers of that 2009 turkey, "The Spirit", did. They blithely ignore Ms. Mendes´ protestations that she does not need the embarrassment of having her bare butt flashed on the big screens of the movie theaters all over the entire world. For – all that Hollywood movie producers care about is money – right? So – real soon this movie - which depicts that super-duperhunk, Daniel Craig a.k.a. James Bond, warming the oh-so-deserving bottom of that treacherous Commie spy, Eva Mendes, is in *all* the movie theaters all over the globe!
And it even appears in the movie theaters of Cuba! After all – everyone knows about that old saw that even a Communist dictator like Castro has to give his subjects bread and circuses? Otherwise the subjects will rise in blind rebellion. And when you have run out of bread - because of the lousy state of that rotten socialist economy of yours - then you sure as hell at least have to give those dumb proles first-rate circuses in order to make the males among them, at least, forget their empty stomachs! Otherwise you, the Numero Uno, will be out on the street in a jiffy!
Well, after this humiliating defeat which the evil Castro suffers - *everything*, but everything, is just hunky-dory!
Eva, for one, is ecstatic. For - her buns feel so warm and tingly! And – almost as important - the judge decides to give her a suspended sentence. Sure - she committed the heinous crime of espionage. But she has already been so adequately punished by James Bond, a.k.a. Daniel Craig! Isn´t that so? So give her a break!
And Daniel Craig – he sure is in seventh heaven. Imagine – he thought that he had it made when he got to star as James Bond! He was supposed to be the world´s number one macho hunk when he got to play the role of 007. But *now* he is world-renowned as the guy who got to spank Eva Mendes´ bare bottom! Now *that* is macho *cubed*! And - to top it off – there is that déja vu thing.
To be continued. |
