No German Word for Small Talk

German has "den Hintern versohlen", which means "to spank the buttocks". The problem is that that the phrase cannot be used without specifying whose buttocks are being spanked.

"I like spanking my girlfriend" easily translates to "Ich mag es, meiner Freundin den Hintern zu versohlen", and "I like being spanked" is "Ich mag es, den Hintern versohlt zu kriegen", but "I like spanking" has no good translation. When I came out, I used something along the lines of "I would like to have a girlfriend who would enjoy it if I were to spank her bottom" ("Ich hätte gerne eine Freundin, die es mögen würde, wenn ich ihr den Hintern versohlen würde").

German spankos just use the word "spanking", I believe.

Very good sentance I think, when I came out I said, "Could you please spank me!" Short and sweet but it worked and has kept going for many years

Thank you to all who helped me with my question, I never knew that spanking was not directly translated into every language, I would have thought since every culture I know of uses it that the word would be common, but we learn something new every day, thanks people.

"May the paddle of spanking warm up your butt" (this is my translation of "may the bird of pardise fly up your nose) into Canadian. And you thought I was uneducated...tsk tsk

I've heard Smalltalk used as a noun in German. The influx of English, or pseudo-English, vocabulary into German and widespread usage of the language in advertising, business, information technmolgy etc, has become known as "Denglish" and sometimes masquarades as "Neudeutsch."
There are numerous examples but I recently heard "chill" (as in chill-out) used instead of the perfectly good German word entspannen – „Wir wollen heute Abend chillen"
Of course it works the other way round too with words such as Schadenfreude and Zeitgeist being used in English.
The phrase used by Fabian (den Hintern versohlen) is probably the closest you'll get to a translation for spanking in German and loosely translates to a good leathering.

Yes, like 'spanking' we also imported 'smalltalk'. I always thougt 'smalltalk' is a noun. As verbs we use 'ratschen' or 'quatschen' or 'klatschen', depending in which part of Germany someone lives. 'ratschen' means 'doing smalltalk'. The difference in the denotation is, that we normally don't speak with strangers. When I was in England (and also in the States) people always started talking to me: in the supermarket, in the bus, in the streets. We don't do that. In Germany it was (and still is) very unusual to start a conversation with people you don't know. Therefore we had no need for 'smalltalk'. And starting to talk about the weather or health to your friends or colleagues means that you are bored by their company. I would also never ask a German: 'How are you', if I'm not really interested in his answer. It may happen otherwise, that the asked person starts telling you the whole story of his/her recent life. If someone starting 'smalltalk' , it may happen, that he get's the answer: "Why don't you tell this to your hairdresser?"

That is a wonderful word. Joy in others misfortune. It is strange that we had to borrow a word to express that fairly universal emotion! I also cannot understand why the Germans don't have their own word for spanking. I know it was called "The English vice" but my understanding is it could as easily be called "The German Vice" as well. What about caning? Is there a German word for that I wonder?

What I want to know is this - is there a German word for "Pink picking on blimp," or is that also purely an English (or Scottish) concept?

What was I saying about joy in others misfortune?

I am shocked... SHOCKED, I tell you... that you would imply that I have even the minutest speck of, what do you call it - Schadenfreude? - at your travails.

Not only do the Germans have no word for spanking, they have no proper word for glove, calling a glove a hand shoe. That always seemed strange to me for a people with plenty of experience of cold winters. Mind you, there are also those French foot-fingers.

No, the Germans don't differentiate the implements. "I was caned" is "Ich wurde mit dem Rohrstock geschlagen". It's really no wonder that most German spanking stories sound clumsy.