A Puzzle

A PUZZLE

(Police constable Wendy Williamson received this letter. She rang Mr Morris and arranged to come round the next day. This was an unwise decision. Why?
I'll wait a while and then give the answer – or confirm that some intrepid detective has got it!)


TO: Constable Williamson
Cheke's Creek Police Station
BURNHAM-ON-CROUCH
Essex

FROM: Martin Morris
Managing Director
Morris and Sons (Furniture and Accessories Restorers)
Dropham Industrial Park
BURNHAM-ON-CROUCH
Essex


1/10/2009

Dear Constable Williamson,

I hope you will accept my apology. Stupid of me to behave as I did, like a pig. Of course you were doing your duty yesterday. When I encounter unexpected difficulties, I frankly overheat. I do not want to create a problem between ourselves and the law your good self represents.

I realise that when you saw, behind our premises, a high performance car idling as if to act as a getaway or spy, you left your beat, asked the black driver questions, and were not satisfied till he explained himself, which he failed to do, as it appears, since he got out and strode off. Mr Burns, who met you at the gate, was rather brusque and I regret that. I also regret that I refused you entry. My adoptive son, the driver, told me some sob story about police harassment which I believed.

Please believe we sincerely regret our unwise unco-operativeness which none of us will repeat. My son is not a criminal, just foolish. All of us would welcome you next time. If you have the time, could you possibly visit us so that a different impression can be left? Then you could hopefully go back convinced that we are on your side. David and myself do hope we can make amends. Naturally, anyone that combats crime and antisocial behaviour can be assured we will always be on their side. Our law is entirely just and whatever criticisms may for whatever reasons at times be made, the law and democratic debate are the way the civilised world should resolve them.

Hoping this is the start of a fruitful relationship, one in which above all we co-operate for the good of Burnham, which is the will of everyone, whatever ethnicity, religion or class they may be. David hopes he can drive you around in his spanking new sports car, the one you saw, but perhaps you may not fancy that.

Apologies, again, for being so silly.

Martin Morris

Interesting, I love problems like this.
I'm going to sleep a night on this one tough...

You'd be very foolish to accept an invitation from one who uses such appalling grammar and punctuation.

Surely the name and reputation of our own Barretthunter should have been enough to make any WPC run for the hills? However, cleverly embedded within the letter - (or is it just a coincidence born of an extraordinarily powerfully focused fixation with the round bum of the law?) - is Mr Morris' true message ...

I knew it was simple! The trouble is, I am too!! I looked at it a dozen times and didn't spot it! It's the snows fault you know! Well done to the TheEnglishMaster! Being a year older hasn't slowed down that brain I am glad to see.

Well I knew it had to be something to do with policewoman's bottoms, but I didn't fathom it out either.

Congratulations, TEM.

Well I failed miserably to decipher that one.

Very cleverly written barretthunter, and well done to TEM for decrypting the puzzle for this slow witted dullard!

Well done, EnglishMaster! There was a clue in the date - 1/10 or one in every ten words.

So it's every tenth word?

Goodgulf

That was very MASTERful, TEM!

Fun puzzle, barrett!