Loss of “Male Pride” during Spankings

Howabout

That is some interesting insight. Though I think it’s less to do with that and more to do with it being a self-inflicted wound. A lot of males set this expectation for themselves that they’ll be stoic and also have the mentality that they can’t stand a woman beating them at anything, including a woman literally beating them. And that just ends up hurting them even more when they predictably fail to live up to their own unrealistic, prideful expectations. Women aren’t usually the ones shaming people for crying while their ass gets fried; it’s typically men who do it to themselves or to other men.

AltanativeFTW

Yes I think you're exactly right as well. Maybe my comment was more about how F/M stories can really play up this element and lean into the intentional humiliation of the spankee for its own sake in a way that can come off as too harsh in M/F.

Howabout

I agree with that. A woman smoking a man's hams, especially in a setting where the objective is to inflict pain as opposed to a more sensual, loving spanking, can definitely inflict some deep emotional wounds on top of the physical pain by leaning into this aspect of a punishment. And in many ways, the man is asking for it, because it's only going to bruise his ego if he imposes such toxic, misogynist expectations of stoicism onto himself. A man who lacks these isn't really going to care, so a woman mocking him for crying while she whips his ass isn't going to hurt him emotionally, at least nowhere near to the same extent.

Might be totally irrelevant to today but in my younger days(end 1950s-to early 70's) any boy crying after a spanking or the cane/strap in school would be called a 'cissy'. This was a word that didn't refer to any lack of pain tolerance but rather was used to refer to a 'feminine boy'. The clear implication, of course, was that crying was a girly thing to do. i.e. rather than suffer in manly silence the boy was behaving like a girl. Girls in similar situations were allowed cry.
The same reaction , calling someone a 'cissy' would also happen if a boy fell and injured himself and cried with the pain. Basically, boys, unlike girls, did not cry.

Smachtai

I'm sure many boys thought they would be tough and brave only for the reality to turn out differently once they got the cane or strap. Was it only other boys who engaged in this cruel mockery of criers, or did girls also view crying boys as emasculated and bully them, even while crying was permitted for their gender? And did any girls pride themselves on being able to take corporal punishment well?

I'm sure the situation was even worse with judicial corporal punishment, which was designed to be beyond excruciating so that it would deter even the most violent inmates. Even big, tough, muscular guys would become traumatised and cry when receiving the kiss of leather from a cat o'nine tails or a Canadian prison strap. It must have been so agonising that any of their attempts to be manly must have been easily overcome. I wonder how inmates who received prison whippings and were unable to take it stoically (which was the vast majority of them, I imagine) were perceived by their mates behind bars.

Becoming vocal, whether by yelling out, screaming, or even vocally begging has also been categorized as a failure to remain stoic in the face of punishment or torture. Yet very effective tortures do succeed in making these things happen. Psychological tortures, or ones involving sleep deprivation, isolation, or long-term suffering are more apt to break people and could result in all sorts of reactions, perhaps even crying, but more like mental collapse crying rather than crying from pain. Crying in men is not as easy as just applying more pain and the notion assuming this is the case just seems fanciful.


So, I'm wondering where you are getting your evidence for this claim? I'm also curious if you yourself are easily brought to tears from the pain of a spanking? I know I'm not, and I still haven't 'cried' for other, more intense pains from injuries or whatever. I don't even cry at funerals. (And again I believe this is the conditioning of what is expected for how a man should act. ) And yet, like someone else mentioned, I can cry from a movie, book, or song.

There are a number of accounts where recipients of the Canadian prison strap are said to have “cried”, “hollered”, or some other verb. Some of them claim to have cried only because they feared they would be hit harder without it, but that just seems like an attempt to save face after crying (and still demonstrates that the recipient was in severe fear of even more pain, further showing the strapping working as intended).

https://www.corpun.com/canada2.htm

I think there's a difference between 'crying' when being spanked or paddled or even caned, as opposed to the reaction from a prison strap or something similar. The accounts say that the recipients hollered or cried out. That to me means they shouted in pain and most recipients of floggings or any punishment of that sort scream in agony, they don't 'cry' in the way a younger child might.

Seegee

Fair enough; "crying" might simply refer to regular screams. I imagine if someone is bellowing at the top of their lungs in pain, they're probably going to shed at least a few tears. In any case, screaming in agony, even if no tears are generated, does still fall under the category of being broken and "losing your pride" by being unable to take it stoically, so the broader point remains the same.

I know if I was subject to such a painful punishment inflicted by a woman, the combination of extreme pain combined with the emotional nature of opposite-gender whippings would almost certainly cause some tears to flow; I would be shocked if this were not the case.

I'm not sure I understand or agree. Many men subject to the Canadian Prison Strap objected because the punishment was "childish". Male pride? Reactions to extreme pain may be probable, but not entirely predictable. I believe people who reported on Canadian strapping also saw hate as a reaction. It was definitely not the desired reaction. But hate, like crying, may be an effective coping mechanism. You can probably cry and hate at the same time.

Is there something in the nature of a "painful punishment inflicted by a woman" that causes us to react a certain way. Probably true in most cases. Because we're individuals, with our own nature, we may react in different ways. If you read this site, you can see how different we are.