Loss of “Male Pride” during Spankings

Does anyone derive strong pleasure from male spankees being unable to live up to “boys don’t cry” in a story? Especially when the spanker is female. And are there any particularly good stories that emphasise this theme?

For me, that’s one of the best aspects of a story. I brought this up in another thread, but one of my favourite things to write in my stories (which are in a formal judicial setting) is having a female spanker tell her male victim that it’s okay to cry. It’s such a power move that makes a prideful male feel hopeless before the asswhipping even begins, being basically told that she’s going to whip him so badly he’ll be guaranteed to cry and there’s nothing he can do about it. And that it’s going to be SO BAD that it’s implied that she almost has to give this disclaimer because of how cruel it would be to rub it in that he cried after already getting such a horrendously painful whipping from the opposite gender, and that doing so would basically guarantee that he’d be living with debilitating trauma for the rest of his life.

I also like the aspect of the fact that it basically forces a male spankee to stop caring about their masculinity. When your butt feels like it’s covered in molten lava, you just howl and beg your punisher in the vain, futile hope that she stops asswhipping you. You’re going to cry no matter how hard you try to stop yourself from doing so.

I'm just finishing a story where a male prefect, involved in caning two girls at school is switched by one of the girls in revenge. He cries.

Geoffrey Stirling.

I write a lot of F/mM and the boys in most, if not all, of those stories do cry.

Interesting topic since one of my more popular pieces is entitled "Pride" and deals with the loss of it over the course of an exchange between a husband and his wife's obnoxious friend. There is no crying though, mainly because in my experience with Femdom DD, tears do NOT come easily. This topic has surfaced many times on a long-established forum devoted to FLR/DD, and the host is somewhat obsessed with the notion of tears, and yet even he, as much as he would like to, can't seem to 'get there'. In my 46 years of being punishment spanked (in addition to play) I have never gotten more than a welling, and even that was more due to the issue and the scolding rather than the pain.

I can see boys crying, especially if young. And I can DEFINITELY see begging whining and all sorts of other things, but tears? They are pretty rare. I know some can do it, but they are a minority within a minority within yet another minority. So, because I pattern my stories on personal experience for realism, I don't include tears.

I suppose they do make for great fantasy though, yet it does beg the question: if the guy in the story cries tears over a spanking, what would he do in a wartime situation under true genuine torture?

I was thinking about a response to the OP's questions. Then kd posted. I was half expecting it. And I was all set to vehemently disagree. Then he writes about tears:


Just take that thought a little further. Maybe consider the feelings of the person doing the spanking. Sometimes, especially during a spanking, you have to consider that it's not all about you. And it's not all about the pain. My experiences and my "reactions" have been quite varied. And I don't want to over generalize.

I've fallen off a roof. Been in car accidents. Begged for pain killers in the hospital. I don't recall crying. I don't think those situations are the same.

If you're referring to Dan's forum. Opinions there vary.

I still haven't figured out what "Take it like a man" means.

The OP asks interesting questions. It seems, we are also expected to consider the questions from different perspectives.


When you write "in a story." You're asking us to view ourselves as readers or observers. Can we take "strong pleasure" viewing another's pain? I think about a crowd gathering in the town square to witness a public whipping. The reactions can range from righteousness, to sympathy, to "glad it's not me", to orgasm.


This is the point of view of the female spanker. It does emphasis that the power imbalance is so great, that "there is nothing he can do about it". That can be an act of additional cruelty or an act of mercy. She could be telling him to go ahead and cry, do whatever you have do to get through it. I won't think any less of you.


The view point of the male spankee. When this point is reached, does he even view himself as male. Male pride?? Can he even think? There may only be pain.

I'm thinking about this "in extremis". I prefer to step it back a notch. Leave the spankee with some skin in the game. I don't usually think about judicial spanking. My preference is F/M within a loving, caring, committed Consenual/nonconsent dynamic. Thinking about tears in that type of relationship is obviously controversial.

BTW kd, I think "Pride" is a great story.

I was reading an article about crying recently because I wanted to know if animals cry and what purpose tears have. Anyway, the article said that before puberty boys and girls cry in equal frequency but after puberty the presence of testosterone inhibits tears in males. The ingredients of tears are very similar to breastmilk and have analgesic properties so are actually quite useful if one is in pain (and animals do produce them in response to painful stimuli). In later age, according to the article, as women’s oestrogen decreases, they cry less and feel more anger than previously and men, as they age, experience a decrease in testosterone and cry more.

KatiePie Thank you for sharing this. I thought I could understand tears intuitively. Physically, I thought tears eliminated harmful substances and reduced stress. Prompted by your comment, I'm reading more about this. And learning more. From personal experience I can believe the relationship between aging (testosterone) and tears. I also find it interesting that women's tears reduce male aggression. Something else I can believe.

Depending upon how the researchers conduct their experiments, I might be willing to participate in one of their tear producing studies.

This is a very interesting topic, and I think one of the key differences between F/M and M/F. The breaking of a man's pride comes off as a bit more "punching up" than "punching down", or we imagine that the man "has it coming" a bit more easily. That all can make for an intense, enjoyable story with these elements.

I have a story, here, about F/m. It's not my usual fare as it is not my thing, but I wanted to investigate it. It's called Schoolboy. and concerns the boy's humiliating punishment by his headmistress, witnessed by her daughter, of about the same age as him.

By the end he is crying but probably as much because of the humiliation as the pain.

Personally, I cry easily, but over sad films, happy films and random acts of kindness, even in fiction.

Geoffrey Stirling.