Severity Of Punishment

Very interesting debate. I speak from a M/f perspective and rarely agree safe words, except with a new spankee. I agree with Crimson Kid that their chief purpose is to allow the sub to scream blue mercy and beg for it to stop and for it not to stop, because she didn't use the word. Once I know my sub I will know when she really wants it to stop. No girl has ever used a safe word with me.

I have delivered many severe spankings--for mutual fun, but only two real punishment spankings (to girls who confessed a sin and said that they deserved a real punishment). Such spankings are delivered as hard as I can manage and elicit heartfelt and frantic responses. They also leave a very well decorated bottom and a crying girl who really needs to be hugged, stroked and comforted. The experience, for both participants, is truly amazing and as closely connected as lovemaking. I recommend it.

I totally identify with Origuni's comments in the post on March 9, 2014. For me, a classic spanking involves unbearable pain for a short duration (say, anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes) that puts the spankee into full panic mode and makes the spankee frantically beg for the spanking to stop. Tears and full-on crying ought to occur, but that usually requires strong emotion (usually guilt, but it can also be other types of emotion).

RFranklin345

I certainly agree that the duration should be short if that much pain is being caused, and that five minutes is more than enough. At that level of activity, full-on crying would almost certainly be expected but the spanking needs to carry on a bit longer to ensure the job is done and that all emotions are released. Maybe five minutes should be targeted irrespective, in the knowledge that the crying would have started well before the end.

I was once told by a lady friend that there is no point in being tied to a spanking frame if there is no intention of going past the victim's pain level. Never got to tie her to a spanking frame, so I don't know how that worked out for her in reality.

I feel much the same as KatiePie I want to be treated as a naughty girl, not naughty woman, I personally feel that not being tied down and having to stay in place is part of the 'naughty girl' scene. I get spanked otk then bent over a soft back support pillow but equally Himself knows me very well and can tell immediately if somethings wrong, my 'something's wrong' voice is very different from my 'oh please stop that hurts!' voice.

When I write Charlotte and James stories I try to make them believable if quite harsh. Occasionally when the scene demands it He does over punish her. But I want to describe their relationship as it develops and grows and Charlotte is a rebellious disruptive teen, perhaps slightly disturbed - i haven't decided yet - and kicks back against any rules so having her is a strict military school is a recipe for disaster and chaos - and that happens. But I wouldn't want to be spanked, caned and belted the way she is, yes some of her personality is based on me though.

At one time I had a Dom who started beating me for little or no reason and He had so cowled me that i took it and only escaped the relationship when i found myself flinching when he scratched his nose, this was NOT Himself.

It's one thing to think you want to be 'thrashed within an inch of your life' but often in reality you don't actually really want that, you want the session to FEEL like you are being 'thrashed within an inch of your life' as often we have to go about our Real Life outside the scene for most of us without giving away the fact we like getting spanked etc to others.

Sometimes having to interact with 'Real Life' can be a real pain and can really suck!

I'm with KatiePie and pim8parnell, it needs to be a proper spanking and I need to have some marks to show for it the next day. Sometimes it needs to be harsher than others depending on how naughty I have been, that is not my decision but I know what I need.

Safe words are good at the beginning but partners can quickly establish a proper level and go with that unless, there are exceptional circumstances. Never tied up and never thrashed to within an inch, but robustly spanked when needed.

An interesting revival of an old thread. I looked back and I actually responded to this back in 2014! (Gosh I feel old! LOL) Anyway, my general sentiments then have not changed and what I do find interesting is that there seems to be commonality in the two camps. If one desires spanking as genuine correction, it appears fairly unanimous, regardless of gender dynamic, that the action reflect that. If, however, one winces at the thought of using spanking as anything other than sexy spice play, then severity seems to be less of a goal and the spanking is more of a mutual 'dance' where pain is desired only up to a point or in a certain way.

The division between the DD folks and the spanko/BDSM folks is narrow but significant.

This very interesting conversation reminds me of something a well-known professor of literature said: "Fiction allows us to imagine a reality we can't afford to experience." I suspect that's the case for most of the fiction we read and write.

I've always been a switch which in my case means that I'm mostly dominant, but every so often I feel the need to be taken in hand by a strict younger woman who will treat me, as others here have suggested, like a "naughty girl." The contrast between that kind of treatment and my being a good deal older than my domme is deliciously erotic for me. I agree that the severity of the discipline should be left to the domme. (That's also my view when I'm the domme.) The spanking should be long enough to leave some marking and reduce me to tears. If she is somewhat whimsical in her attitude, such as instantly doubling the intended or announced number of spanks or cane strokes for a minor show of resistance such as a mere grimace on my part, that increases the tension and arousal. My greatest fear is that I will somehow annoy her so that she crisply announces that she will begin the caning all over again. She also may make me wear clothing suitable only for a much younger "naughty girl" such as a very short skirt that reveals my panties or she might threaten to make me go without panties at all.

While you may enjoy the moment and the marks, its consequences should be considered when a fantasy is enacted with a willing partner. I would consider the state of your bottom and sitting for a long period of time, even the next day on a plane, train or in an automobile.