Severity Of Punishment

Often123

Interesting observation Often123.
Play spankings do not work for me, it has to be punishment; as the reason for getting a spanking is the foundation of the whole experience.

The punishment has to fit the crime as well. These days we work on the basis of 3, 5, 7, 10 or12 swats with a school paddle on the bare, depending on the offence. Though I have never given my wife more than 3.

In most cases the offences are based on what a strict adult would spank for in the 1950s, in other words my wife or I will from time to time make swearing and tardiness a spankable offence as a justification.

I get tremendous satisfaction from being paddled properly for something I have "actually" done wrong, even though I'm operating in the role of the naughty juvenile.

Brosse6, I've often wondered what might have happened if I had introduced spanking much earlier in my relationship. Would she used that in a disciplinary fashion? There was an occasion when I had replied to her in a somewhat impolite manner, upon which she 'ordered' me to our room. I had to drop my pants and lean over the bed. Then she used the crop we had recently purchased for a few pops on my bared bottom. Was she serious or was it a bit of role play? Now I'll never know the answers.

I'm with AbeRikki and Minidancer. I want to be spanked and I want it to hurt and I like being able to feel the marks left for a day or two but I don't want to be injured. I really wouldn't want ever to be tied up and I don't like reading about really severe punishments either. I feel sick when I read stories about someone being lashed with a whip dozens of times and left bleeding. I just want to be treated like a naughty little girl and put over someone's knee and spanked, mainly with a hand but I don't mind a belt or slipper (prefer an old fashioned leather soled slipper), or occasionally a wooden ruler. Oh and people talking about having a safe word. I don't really want that because that makes it seem too fake. If I stay stop I don't actually want someone to stop right away, I want them to continue just a little bit longer.

I'm also intrigued by that scenario, KatiePie, though I'd likely be the naughty lad.

Well, that's the point of a safe word, notably if (in your case) you're involved in a roleplay spanking scene as a 'naughty little girl,' that you can cry out something like "Please stop, it hurts so much!", yet your derriere will continue to be smacked--unless you call out your safe word, because you desire or need the session to end right away.

Of course, if you wish "Please stop!" to be responded to as "I want another ten sound spanks, then stop," that could be arranged in advance with your spanker...

--C.K.

KatiePie

Katie - We get over the problem of 'safe words' by having standard pre-agreed punishment limits as schools and courts used to. You can set those limits however you wish, but having set them, there is no argument about receiving them.

You are correct punishment spankings are meant to hurt during and afterwards, and I think the State schools in the old days largely got it correct. I exclude Etonian floggings which are S&M rather than DD.

Spankings have to go distinctly beyond the stage of you begging for it to stop, but not OTT beyond.

I agree with origuni's and AbeRikki's comments. I've been to a number of professionals over the years, and what they all have in common is a holding back and a reluctance to inflict serious pain. I've had to go to them repeatedly (the same professional, in other words) to get spanked as hard as I want. I have the feeling that the reason this is the case is that most people who go to see them are into erotic humiliation as AbeRikki says and not into more serious pain. It may also be that they want an orgasm, and that doesn't usually occur when serious pain is being inflicted. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but it's not what I'm looking for -- which is more along the lines of what origuni describes.

As to safewords, I've always gone by the red, yellow, green system. Red stops the scene completely. Severity has never been the issue. It's usually something taking her out of sub space. Yellow means to slow down so she can process the pain and this is very helpful.

Severity is an odd issue because different people have not just different pain tolerances, but pain needs as well. If you are into spanking from the psychology side, pain is a by product of what you're after. If you after endorphins you might tolerate a short warm up, but you want a butt whopping and you want it now.

I have a love hate relationship with the pain. I know I need it and I enjoy the aftermath, but I hate it when it's happening. I need it to be as real as possible. Severe but within reason.

I think you probably want it as hard as you think you can stand - but NOT so hard as to do any physical damage. Anything less than that will seem like a cop-out - and after all in bygone days when these things happened for real the victim could not then stipuate a maximum intensity. But as a matter of self-respect the victim will be very reluctant to say "Hey, stop!" - and that is precisely why a sensitive and careful top, who can watch out for imminent bleeding and stop JUST before it happens, is so important!

At least, that's how I see it.