Severity Of Punishment

A reader commented on one of my stories, The Penitent, asking, "One question: how common is it, do you think, for a sub to actually want so severe a punishment?" While I didn't think it was a severe punishment at all, it does bring up an interesting question for the group.

I have no idea, really, if it is common or not to want to be punished severely. Offhand, I would think it would not be common, but as I have had only limited experience with other subs, I have no actual idea. It all depends, I suppose, on one's definition of "severe." What seems like an ordinary punishment to me might be horribly severe to someone else. For my own tastes, I want to actually be punished. I don't want to play; I don't want to enjoy it. And, for gosh sakes, don't give me a safeword. I hate pain. The moment you start whacking my bare butt and causing me pain, I'm going to be using the safeword. But for my own twisted psychological bent, I need that pain and I need to not be able to stop it regardless of my desires. I am not going to like it and I'm not going to enjoy it one bit, but that's the entire point of being punished. Later on, once the punishment has ended, that is when I am going to get enjoyment out of the feeling of a well-punished bottom and the feeling of heat that emanates from it. That will excite me and I will enjoy squirming as I sit down for however many days I feel a reminder of my punishment. Yes, I am fully aware that I have issues.

So, now to throw his question out to everyone, is it common for a sub to want a severe punishment? And, to the doms/dommes, would you rather give a playful punishment or a "real" one? I enclosed real in quotation marks because obviously just flipping someone over your lap without it being consensual in some way would be an act of abuse, so I mean "real" in terms of it being a consensual but genuine punishment rather than a play-spanking.

I find this question very intriguing. Objectively, what qualifies as "common," "real punishment," and "severe?" Unfortunately, I have little experience from which to draw, other than reading- though there has been a lot of reading.

From what I've gathered, there is something for everyone and someone for everything. Not all spankings of the same description are created equal; ten swats with the same hairbrush from two different people- or even the same person on different occasions- can be very different. To further complicate things, one's taste in stories, pictures, videos, and actual spankings may or may not be consistent. Personally, I don't mind severe punishments in writing, though I prefer not to see the effects of such. I find this odd, since I was fine doing dissections and whatnot in biology classes but once passed out during a lecture on the structure of skin.

Personally, whether or not I like a spanking in fiction has more to do with the rest of the story than the act itself. The scenarios I am most attracted to are the ones in which the punishment is real and consent is explicit (though perhaps general- it may otherwise be too hard to go through with it at the last minute!)

If you've written something you can relate to and enjoy, chances are you'll find readers who will do so as well (and also plenty of readers who won't- some more vocal than others).

As a switch who tends toward the F/M side of things I understand the desire for a hard spanking a lot of the times. Play spankings can be fun for sure but at times one needs to feel that their spanker will take them above and beyond the 'play' and into a real spanking meant to hurt a lot.

I do agree consent if vital in the world of adult spankings, and I think most spanko relationships are that way. Also 'punishment spankings' are not a reason for being extremely abusive. That may seem like a conflicting statement but it is not by any means.

I would guess for some it's the 'AFTERWARD' feeling after a good spanking, caning, or paddling. I really have no idea. If it's not abusive in any way, it's certainly not a bad thing for either partner.

I know that I'll never be able to experience a "real spanking" over the knee.
At six feet tall and weighing 250 pounds I'll always be able to squirm off when the pain gets too much.
I suppose the only way to experience a "real punishment" is to involve some kind of bondage and as Arcane says, not to use a safe word.
There are some Dommes who offer this but I'm not quite sure how they actually go about it.
I would dearly love to be thrown across a females knee and spanked beyond my limit but it's just not going to happen.
I'll just have to rely on my imagination and memories from the past, when it actually happened for real.
Perhaps in the not too distant future I'll be able to wire myself up to some kind of virtual reality device and experience it that way...here's hoping.

You'd need to have your arms pinned, some sort of straightjacket-type bondage, and possibly your knees held together--then a reasonably strong woman wouldn't have much trouble holding you over her lap.

No safeword at all sounds a bit scary to me, but perhaps a 'delayed' one would work better--your spanker stops the punishment thirty swats after you say it, for example, so you'd have your limits pushed but still have some control.

A truly punitive spanking, with no consent (or at least only general consent) and no safeword, I enjoy that idea in fantasy, but I'm not certain about it as a RL experience... --C.K.

I sit alongside Arcane on this subject. I want it to be a painful spanking but am very adept at distracting the lady I visit and getting out of the really serious bit! The only way it works, and since I have been visiting her for some years now and we have an agreed format is that she will tie and gag, that way I don't get out of it! Then I get to experience the post punishment pleasure, the hot bum and the discomfort for several days. And the adrenaline rush when you are helpless is magic, knowing whats going to happen!

We live a D/s DD lifestyle. While some of our spankings are playful or meant as sexy rewards or bonding experiences, the majority are meant as genuine punishments for behavior issues or broken rules. These are hard spankings. They are not easy to take but we both realize that they need to be this way and so she has no problem dishing out a painful punishment, and I agree with her methods.

I don't do any of this stuff for "real" but I occasionally get spanked by my wife and I have played at parties, usually as a sub.

Being spanked domestically has allowed me to build up a certain resilience such that when I've been at the occasional play parties I've been whacked quite hard, which is a win-win since it allows the domme quite a bit of leeway - it has to be fun for them too and is probably frustrating when subs want the experience of getting a spanking without allowing it to hurt very much. As a guide I don't mind some marking but not into being cut and bleeding - although I know a smallish number of people who are - but you have to be philosophical that if you play fairly hard it might happen accidentally, this stuff's not 100% safe even if it's quite sane and consensual!

I have wanted a severe punishment, deserved it, and discussed the details of what it would involve at length. It didn't happen, at least not yet. I sometimes wonder if I would have really been able to go through with it. I would like to think so.