unreported speech

Yes that is the best way to avoid any confusion. Rick's example shows a good way to handle it. The only story I have ever written including telephone conversation 'What the Window Cleaner Saw and What Rachel Saw' have included the the questions and replies from the person on the other end of the phone. In my case, I think the story was enhanced by this exchange.


Oh yes, it definitely would.

This is definitely true, and it adds a level of complexity to the story.

I used another approach in the story Cell Phone where I placed one end of the conversation in italics, reasoning that sometimes people with good hearing can pick up the other end and to suggest the fuzziness of the telephone voice. Then, in case that wasn't believeable, and because of the nature of the story I did this:

"Hello, Mark Williams."
"Hello Mark, It's Jenny."
"Hello Jenny. Do you want to speak to Mary?"
"No, it's both of you actually."
"Just a mo, I'll put you on loudspeaker."
"Look, it's about the handbag, Mary."...

If you really want that technique to be effective, the best way I think is through the reaction and language of the person on the one side of the phone conversation. You'll notice that when this happens in real life you get the gist of what the other person said because the speaker often repeats or summarizes it. Ellipses indicate the other person is speaking.

"Where is my suit... The closet you say?"
Bob shifted the handset to his left to shuffle through his coat rack. "But it's not there."
"Ok, so now you admit you forgot? We have to be there at 7. I need that suit....Oh, so now you'll go get it?"
Bob whirled away from the closet in frustration. "There is no excuse for this Sue....oh, so now you're sorry...what? you had lunch with the girls and lost track of time?"
Bob went to the closet and lifted the paddle from its peg on the back of the door. He sat on the bed idly tapping it on his thigh while he listened to Sue pour out one lame excuse after another.
"We're going to have a little discussion about this when you get home...yes, I know you're sorry, but you know what we agreed..."

Obvious where this is going.

While it isn't Quite the same thing, I did three stories, starting with "Busted" that I called Dialogues for Voice and Mind. (They are now in a "collection" here, so each links to the others) In these, we see one side (usually the spanker's side) of a conversation, and instead of the spankee's responses, we listen to her thoughts (all of mine are M/F). Se what you think of these.

I AGREE. MOST INTERESTING.

Interesting, and in capital letters too!