Sirs,
I opened the forum page this morning to find it covered in eulogies for this chap Saturninus, saying what a jolly good fellow he must be, an all round good egg, the next leader of the Conservative party, the next Commissar of the Labour party and so on. Quite frankly, I am appalled!
I think that I am safe in saying that I have known Saturninus a lot longer than anyone else here. It seems like all my life, if not longer and I can tell you that he is nothing less than a cad and a bounder: a plagiarist without an original thought in his head.
The Happiest Man in the World was lifted from Plum Wodehouse while Mudflaps and Miseries is just a retelling of Somerset Maugham's Kashmir Ruby, set on a cruise ship instead of a curry house in Rusholme. As for Alternative Therapy, that was nicked from some Russian bloke in Novosibirsk!.
So instead of lauding him and giving him 39 out of 30 in your contest I think that Flopsy should organise a committee of the Library's finest ladies to bend him over like any schoolboy of yore and give his bare behind a fearful beating!
Volunteers, please form a queue.
I remain, ladies and gentlemen Your most faithful servant BrodieJLB |