Mainstream Joke Department

There are 10 types of mathematician - those who can think in binary, and those who can't.

Funniest joke I've seen in quite a while. I can't stop laughing...thank you!

The version that is told by mathematicians is less sophisticated: There are three types of mathematicians - those who can count and those who can't.

I dont get these jokes! Hmmm....at this junction 'sir' would be ruffling my hair, shaking his head and smiling indulgently. Lol.

What a lovely image, Minidancer - and welcome to the forum. Have you heard this joke which has no maths whatsoever. Three elephants escaped from the zoo and ended up in the garden of a little old lady who had never left her village all her life and never before seen an elephant. She phoned the police and siad "There are three enormous animals in my garden. They're pulling up my cabbages with their tails, and if I told you what they're doing with them, you simply wouldn't believe me!"

These biology jokes are way over my butt...

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. But they have to be very small and in the mood.

Iconoclast13

The trick is to get them into the light bulb.

OK, a spanking joke: A ten year old boy returns his report card to his teacher, a 20 something cute blond, with these words, "Miss Jones, I don't want to alarm you, but my dad said if my next report card isn't a lot better than this one, someone's going to get their bottom warmed."

And to go along with the crowd, a math joke: Alcohol and and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

"I was investigating my ancestry recently and came upon a
curious character, my great-great-great uncle Ralph Vinson. In his
youth he was a colorful character; he was a spy for England in France
during the Napoleonic Wars. Later he became dreadfully enamoured of
the notorious George Sand, who scornfully turned him down.
Eventually he settled down in England where he raised horses and
became a patron of the arts; he particularly supported some of the
Norwegian composers. As a result he was called J.C. by all his
friends."

"You mean..." someone asked.

"Yes:
'He was the spy Sand rejected,
a man of sorrels,
and acquainted with Grieg.'"