New munch rules

I found out there is a new D/s munch starting in Manchester, UK. Not that it's my cup of tea but it definitely seems out of bounds once I read the rules, which includes:

"Decrying or being derogatory to certain subcultures or fans of books - such as "Fifty Shades of Grey", "Story of O", "Kajira of Gor", "Claiming of Sleeping Beauty" - is also not welcome."

I'm afraid I'd be derogatory to ALL of the above!

Could this just be passive-aggressive code for "no men, please"? It certainly seems that, whether or not it's what they intend, that is what they will achieve...

More likely a "don't be mean to the new people" kind of rule. There are some people who have yet to discover treasure troves like this site. Not a great welcome if someone you meet at a munch spends the time bashing your first introduction to spanking literature.

You're probably - hopefully - right, but couldn't that be covered under the more general rule "don't act like a dick"? I'm not sure what's more distasteful, the idea of someone bashing a new member's taste in books when they first join, or the censorship tone of that rule. But I've never been to a bdsm munch, so I don't know what sort of valid precedents they might have for a rule of that sort.

Kind of unfair to lump Sleeping Beauty in there, no? Or am I biased because I found this in my parents' room at far too early an age?

Forgive me for being completely ignorant here, I hardly understood a word of what Carrot wrote, but it got me interested. What is d/s Munch?

And as a teen, I enjoyed the 'Story of O'. It sounds to me like a good rule.

I'm guessing that the organizers are considering situations other than discussions where people (especially new members) mention their favorite books, and then someone jumps all over them about their choice. A new member could be sitting their quietly, trying to get comfortable when other participants start trashing the very book that opened his/her eyes to the possibilities and acceptability of TTWD. Quite unknowingly, those people may make the new member uncomfortable, when the goal is to be welcoming. I don't know; I'm just speculating. In my experience, rule-making (good or bad) in any situation is in response to actual problems that have occurred.


A "munch" is an event where people interested in BDSM get together socially over a meal, generally in a restaurant, without any BDSM-related activities taking place. It's an opportunity to make friends, or just to hang out with friends, perhaps (but not necessarily) talking about BDSM-related topics. It often, but not always, precedes a "play party" in a nearby venue. Therefore it allows a newbie to become comfortable with people who will be attending, and perhaps learn more about how things work.

That's the truth ("For external use only"...)

Also, I can't help but notice all the examples mentioned are M/F. Is that because most, if not all, bdsm fiction that has made it big has been M/F, so that's what newcomers have read by default? Or is it only M/F we can't criticize, but other pairings are fair game? Hmm...

"D/s" is referring to people who are, or would like to be, in a defined dominant/submissive relationship. At least I think that's what they mean. There's another "spanko munch" in Manchester for people who can be in any relationship as long as sore red bottoms come into it somewhere. I'm sure missing those folk!