An Apology

*sigh*

I feel I need to apologize. Quite some time back, I got it into my head that I could defeat my "writer's block" by submitting the first seven chapters of a story that I was "stuck" on. My idea was that having an audience would motivate me to finish the damned thing.

Alas, it didn't work. So many of you wrote wonderful, encouraging comments on the submitted chapters ... and I haven't followed through. I feel like I've left you all hanging. What happens next?! Well, I know what happens next ... I just can't get around to writing it down.

I dunno. Maybe my writing of this kind of story is just ... over. Maybe my reason for writing is no longer a reason. Maybe I've just gotten lazy. I don't know. I only know that I just can't write any more.

And that's the hard part: the not knowing why. I still constantly have these stories bouncing around in my head. I'm constantly coming up with new ideas, and plotting story arcs in my head. But sitting down and actually writing them ... I just ... can't. *arg*

I'm sorry.

I think I know exactly how you feel. For several years I would get ideas in my head for a story but could not bring myself to write. Not until very recently.Not sure how this condition, whicj lssted 5 years or more, even came about.

Yup. I know just what you mean. It has been thus with me for a while. I tried to fix it by writing a collaborative story with another writer, hoping that would jump start the mojo and that worked just as long as the story was in the writing phase.

The pickings since have been limited to say the least, but the ideas are still there which is frustrating. They bounce around the otherwise empty shell which is my noggin mocking me, saying how much they need to be written and what a hopeless chump I am for not being able to just convert them from ideas to text. I should have stern words with them, if not threaten to spank them.

How do you spank an idea by the way?

Come on guys, it could be worse. All three of you admit to having ideas - imagine how much worse it would be if the ideas were not coming.

I don't know if it will help, but I was told by 'real' writer once that what she does is she spends about five minutes just writing down every random thought that comes into her head (put the bins out tonight, buy milk, etc.) to get warmed up. Then she starts on her serious stuff, just writing it without worrying too much about getting it right. Then after leaving it for a few weeks she comes back to it with a fresh eye and knocks it into shape. Might be worth giving it a shot. After all, all three of you have already proved you can do it, so it is not as if you have to worry about whether you have the ability.

RikSpanks

I was going to suggest that you try to write in collaboration with someone but opb beat me to it. Still it is worth trying. An idea kicked around by two heads can result in an interesting result.

I write spanking stories rarely and usually when I dream of an interesting ending. Lately my dreams are spankless.

I know how you feel. I haven't written much new stuff in quite some time but inspiration can strike at any time. A TV show. A scene from a movie. A news story. A commercial. Even a song lyric (or video). And even if the idea doesn't pan out immediately, try writing a basic, bare-bones outline and saving that, with the hopes of "fleshing out" the bones later. You might try "fanfic" stories of your particular spanking POV. Perhaps check out some of the more visually oriented sites (ones featuring pictures, art, short vids, etc.) of various permutations of spankings or other forms of corporal punishment for inspiration.

For what its worth, and I am speaking strictly from my own experience, I think once you break through whatever barrier that is holding you back, writers block, or just feeling that you don't have the time or inclination to write,it gets easier. In other words, once you take that step.
And it may help to start with somehing short and simple. My first submission back in July was a song parody. Then I moved on to stories, trying at first not to attempt anything too complex or lengthy.
Since then ideas for stories just seem to flow, and more importantly, I feel motivated to turn them into stories.
I agree that it is a good idea to keep some sort of list of ideas, even if they are very fragmented or simple, like something you heard or witnssed that could provide material for a story.
So I have some new stories posted, and a number of others submitted, and in the pipeline to the library. And hopefully this output will continue.

Here is what I think is my real problem. It's not "writer's block".

It's laziness.

The entire reason that I started writing stories like these was because I had no access to porn. I wrote my first stories when I was 14 years old, in 1980, long before the Internet came along. In 1980, I had my sexual fantasies, and of course most of them were what you would expect from a 14YO, virgin boy. Except there was this spanking thing. The only exposure to "porn" for me was occasional peeks into the Hustlers my friend could sneak out of his dad's stash, and riding my bike to the nearby convenience store where the 30-year-old dudes behind the counter looked the other way while I stood at the magazine rack and paged through Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler.

I didn't even know I was a spanko at that age. I had some neighbor kids I grew up with, and we did the "playing doctor" thing, and more than once I persuaded them to include spanking play in our little games, but it was just "play". At those young ages, "butts" were still "funny" ... and a little bit sexual. And when we played, it didn't matter whether the butts were male or female. We treated each other's butts as just butts. There was nothing "gay" about it if I spanked my male friend's butt. It was just butts. At least before any of us hit puberty. Once we all started hitting puberty, things got more complicated, and the games sorta stopped (largely because of parents thinking we all shouldn't be spending so much "alone time" together).

In any case, one day I was at that local convenience store, flipping through the skin mags while the clerks looked the other way. And I finally noticed the small magazines off to the side. Penthouse Forum, and Variations (also published by Penthouse). I decided to look into an issue of Variations one day. And I found a spanking story.

Oh my goodness. In hindsight, with all of my adult experience, the story I read was kinda lame. But, at 14 years old, it was an awakening. I read that story about a woman wanting her husband to spank her, and maneuvering him into doing it ... and I found myself with a harder hard-on than I had ever gotten while peeking at naked ladies in Hustler or any of the other skin mags.

And so I started writing my own. Wow, those first stories were ... incredibly awful. I used my teenaged classmates as characters in my stories, and wrote about spanking them, and started writing sex scenes that were completely ridiculous, because I was a 14-year-old virgin.

But that origin of my writing, even as my writing got better and more realistic, as I gained sexual experience, had one profound impact on my personal experience while writing: I was still writing to get myself off. When I wrote as a virgin teenager, I was writing in longhand in spiral notebooks. In bed. To write in bed, I had to turn my pillow lengthwise ... which left me basically fucking my pillow while I wrote. And I wrote each night until I effectively masturbated myself to orgasm.

And that just hasn't changed. Most of the stories I've published here took a long time to write because I could only write until I mastubated to orgasm. And that is the root of the problem. The stories I've shared here were all written in my thirties. I'm 50 years old now.

At some point when I was writing those stories, I had the realization that I was old enough to be the father of the girls who were getting spanked in my stories. I realized that my characters had not aged along with me. I was getting off on the idea of spanking my figurative daughters.

I think, at some point, I subconsciously made that connection. It's probably why my later stories took a turn into psychology, and the mindset behind wanting to spank/be spanked, as evidenced in my incomplete Pamela & Richard series.

By the time I'd finished Chapter 7 of the Pamela & Richard series, the Internet had caught up to my fantasies, and ... I no longer needed to write out my fantasies. I can now just Google whatever fantasy crosses my mind and gets my dick hard, and there it is. Somebody has done it for me, and I can get off to it. No need to write.

And that sucks. I know I'm a good writer, and I have great stories to tell. I happen to be related to a published, successful, well-respected author of children's books. I worked up the nerve to contact her on Facebook and share one of my stories (The House in the Woods) with her. She gave me nothing but encouragement, and told me that I was a great storyteller with great ideas. (For obvious reasons, I am not going to name her.)

Yes, I'm a good storyteller with great ideas ... except that, in my mind, my stories are just there to get myself off. And that's why I can't write. I pick up one of my stories, I write a few sentences ... and I get off, and that's all for tonight. And then I beat myself up because I'm 50 and writing about spanking teenagers. I beat myself up because I realize that my sexuality is stunted.

Arg.

I also need to apologize. I started a serial that I left dangling after 10 chapters, the last of which was loaded almost 2 years ago. I did work on the next chapter and still intend to finish it, although I suspect no one will care now.

My reasons are different from yours. Well, maybe laziness also applies to me, but I don't write to stimulate myself or anyone else. I just love telling a story, but my problem is more a lack of focus. I need to immerse myself in the story with few distractions. I think that, for me, life got in the way. And, now that I'm married again, there is less time than ever.

Don't worry. We will both get back to it, and it will be better than ever!

I too have been struggling with writer's block for years. My issue is I am a perfectionist and I now know that my past submissions are far from perfection lol.. Ilike the ideas but the writing makes me cringe... far too many long winded and over descriptive sentences, and too many adverbs haha! I am also lacking in ideas.

It helped me so much a few years ago to collaborate with a wonderful writer here, OPB I won't mention any names, and I think our styles merged well and between us we came up with a fun and quirky story. Thank you so much. xx

Since then, though, I have not been inspired to write, I guess because I am too hard on myself.

Recently, I was paired with Malcataz in BL (Boo's clipboard has a lot to answer for!!) and between us, total strangers at the time, we came up with a very sexy story involving a University student and her professor. Glad to say it has been very popular in BL and we have decided to re-write it, with more character development, as an LSF serial. It is in the 'waiting to be loaded queue' as I type this! If you like spanking erotica, look out for Educating Scarlett by Malcatraz and Nyree Grace.

I am so excited to be writing again!

For those struggling to write, it has helped me to have someone like-minded to brain storm with. In fact even me just telling Mal that I am stuck on something makes ideas pop into my head! And the same was true when I worked with Ollie. So I think that collaboration is a good way to go for those needing inspiration. Another advantage of it is that you end up making a wonderful friend.

My advice is to write with someone who has a different writing style to you. That has worked for me very well. You end up drawing from each other's strengths especially when it comes to editing each other's work. I feel that I have now overcome my total block (both in writing and in finding ideas) so I hope this helps to inspire.